Welcome to my blog!
These are stories from a survivor. They are about my struggle to survive but most recently my fight to find balance. A major thing I am working on, and think we all can work on, is finding the grey. In this day and age, things tend to be black or white, all or nothing. As I am finding out, there is a fine line right in the middle. It is a sliver of grey.
My name is Katie Witmer. I am 18 years old and a college-bound high school graduate. I have dreams and hopes and wishes like every other college student. I take pride in my appearance, I love a good coffee, and I love helping people. On the outside I may look like an ordinary girl but don't be fooled. For nearly seven years I was sexually abused. I was molested, raped, and prostituted out by my now adoptive father. After this I was sexually assaulted once by a peer at a music function and once by a stranger on a night I ran away. Life has been rough but I have made it through.
For awhile I wasn't quite sure I would. I started cutting, running away, and attempting suicide. I was an alone and lost teenager dealing with severe PTSD. No one understood me. How could they? Until recently I was unable to tell my story, to voice my most painful and deepest thoughts, and to let myself feel emotion. I got lost in the system and suffered greatly. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. There was only impending doom.
If my story ended there, then it would be considered a tragedy; a poor girl that the world failed. Fortunately, however, that was only the beginning. My life has been about survival and resilience as much as it has been about adversity. The power of the human spirit to overcome nearly impossible obstacles is incredulous. I am living proof that survival is possible. It is human nature to do whatever necessary to survive. At some point, there becomes a time when you are safe and need to make the change from surviving to actually living.
My miracle came about a year and a half ago. I signed myself into a residential treatment center. Many people have judged me for it but who are they to criticize me for getting help? Intense therapy and a therapeutic and safe environment is what I needed. That is what I got and plus some. It is amazing how my mindset and life has changed. Don't get me wrong. I still struggle... a lot, but I keep myself safe and reach out to people instead of staying inside my head.
If you take anything from my stories take this: you are not alone. I was made to believe that I was for so many years and it is extremely important to realize there are others struggling too. No matter where you are in your healing process, you CAN do this!!! Find inner peace with yourself and begin to search for the grey that will allow you to gain control over your life. Enjoy the journey!